For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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