I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
