Your face is a jimmy john
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
