i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Found the puke drawer
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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