Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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