I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
