Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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