Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
