he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
