If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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