I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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