im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
