Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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