My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize