found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
