You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
