He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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