Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
