I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
