I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
