just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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