So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
