oh god the rape fog is back!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
