I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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