please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
