i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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