Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
