Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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