ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
