Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There's always time for handjobs
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's shark week go big or go home
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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