he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We are two peas in an std pod
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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