She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
