i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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