At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
