I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
