i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
they need to just BURY HIM!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
