i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
