Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm getting married
To pizza
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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