I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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