I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Are we still banned from the library?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
