Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want nice things and good sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize