he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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