it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
