I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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