He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
