I think im going to throw up on grandma
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
