Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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