The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
