I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
