would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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