Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
