I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She bit a glass in half.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
