my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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