i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
