i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
