I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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