her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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