This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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