would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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