I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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