Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
