I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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