white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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