This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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