im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
