i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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